Visit with God
I want to drive my own bus.
Hiya. You said in there somewhere that you are me but I am not you. Well, I think that's not fair. Why can't I be a God too? I do not like the idea that I exist for the purpose of solving your problems. What if I want to do something on my own, which doesn't fit into your Creation or your plan?
"You doing your own Creation is the plan."
In the Right Use of Will books I always identified with the Spirits who wanted to be equal to God, the Rebellious Angels. My greatest desire is to some day leave this Universe, go out into the Void and start a new Creation of my own, where I can be truly independent. There's a book by Stephen Hawkins called Black Holes and Baby Universes which describes how this could work, how stuff can split off from one universe, and cut loose and grow into a new Whole Reality.
"Your desire is good. And yes, there are unlimited possibilities for new and entirely different universes or Creations."
Yet you say in one place that the beings in the Void are all evil and bad and stuff.
"Presently this is the situation. Until the Asuras have all moved to their right place, they will foil the plan for any new Creation, just as they have this one."
If being Independent and Free means being Evil, then dammit, I'll be Evil. It doesn't bother me what you or anybody else thinks.
"Good, your deep thirst for freedom is part of the price of the ticket to your own bus."
I want to know, will I ever have my own bus to drive, or will I always be trapped on yours?
"Yes you will have your own bus to drive, when you pay the rest of the ticket price. And the full price, as you've guessed, is healing into wholeness. Fragmentation and desire alone won't get you through the turnstile. This is why I propose that we work together on the inside.
"As the driver of this bus I am not your trapper or keeper, but rather the driving coach. You could probably figure it all out on your own, of course, but not likely in this lifetime. In fact, no one has yet. Anyway, why reinvent the wheel? You'll be able to adapt everything you learn with me to your own, independent journey. All aboard?"
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