"This class begins with a story about
what happened in the very beginning. As I have said, I
am evolving, as is all of my Creation. Because I am evolving,
I am more aware now than I was when I started.
"At first I was not even aware of myself
as a being, or of the fact that I was creating anything. Later,
even as I began to realize more of who I am, I was still not
aware that the 'medium' into which I poured my Light was a living, feeling being.
"I didn't realize the space that was
holding me and 'my' creation was being opened for me, and I had
no idea that the one who was opening the space for Creation was
the one for whom it was being created. I now know that what I
had initially thought of as a void is actually the point of my
existence, my one true love, my right mate, the The
Mother of Creation.
"In the beginning, as I became more aware,
I began to realize there was something other than me, but I didn't
know what. I was very involved inside of myself at the time,
I was discovering my existence and identity in a field of oceanic
bliss.
The Mother is Attacked
"The realization that there was something
else besides me came as messages in the form of disquieting feelings
something like wiggles in my Light. I felt these messages to
be a distraction and a nuisance, as you might find a buzzing
mosquito or a body itch. I instinctively sent out sharper than
usual light in an absent-minded hope of stopping the distractions
by destroying them, just as you might use your hand to swat a
mosquito or your fingernail to scratch an itch.
"Since I did not even know of her existence,
I could not realize that this sharp energy of mine was being
received by the Mother as painful attacks. She was moving only
because she wanted to get my attention and let me know of her
presence. She felt I would be happy to know she was there, so
she opened to me in love. But instead of receiving love in return,
she was shocked and hurt by my violent response to her movements,
and she became afraid of me and my Light.
"Of course I didn't know any of this
at the time. When the 'distractions' stopped, I went back to
the bliss deep inside of myself and forgot about the whole thing.
The Mother had input for me about our relationship and the nature
of Creation, but I was oblivious to her existence. Our first
contact was in the form of a fight from my side, and of a rape
from hers.
The Mother is Damaged
"The Mother's essence is magnetic, it
draws light to her. Once light has entered her field, she must
hold it. It cannot move out of her unless other light comes to
replace it. The first light she received from me was hostile
light that created very deep imprints in her essence. Some of
the stronger blows even damaged her essence and caused it to
fragment.
"In all the eons of existence, these
imprints have never been healed. My Light of love and acceptance
has never reached the places in the Mother that were first hurt
by my initial hostility toward her. Although they have been very
deeply buried, these original imprints have influenced every
interaction she and I have ever had, and they are still active...
the root cause of all the suffering in you and everyone else
on Earth.
"My purpose here is two-fold. I'm here
to help you awaken to your true identity as All That Is, and
of course this is very important. More important however, is
my quest to find and help heal the parts of the Mother that were
damaged in our original contact and deeply hurt again in later
reenactments of that tragedy."