"These are some very deep questions.
To begin, there is only one Mother, yet there are many Spirits.
My mate in our Original, Grand Creation was the youngest, most
vibrant and most able to mate with me Mother essence. 'Grandmother'
is not a good name for this part of the Mother, but 'Original
Mother' or 'First Mother' says it well. After the original separation
of Spirit and Will, she was the least damaged of all the Will
essence.
"It is difficult to communicate in words
the intensity and depth of the shock and outrage that was felt
all throughout the Will of Original
Heart when my Light revved up so much that it blew us apart
from each other, and blew her to fragments. There had never in
all eternity been even a small amount of displeasure, and pain
was completely unknown to us except as an abstract experience
that could be only imagined, but never felt.
"Then suddenly, without any way to know
what it would be like, we experienced the first and most intense
pain, shock and horror possible. But the horror didn't stop,
nor did the pain. And the shock is still present everywhere.
In one instant we went from the most blissfully happy and rapturous
Love in our eternal union of and as Original Heart... to the
worst possible nightmare of pain, suffering, loss, remorse and
eternal damnation.
"Most of the Original Mother went so
far out into what has become manifestation... that she completely
lost my Light. My experience of this was watching everything
that had ever meant anything to me, and the parts of myself I
loved the best... fading away into oblivion. I was still identified
as the Spirit of Original Heart, and what I knew I was losing...
was everything that I had ever loved, and that had ever loved
me.
"I knew something very bad, very 'wrong'
had happened, but I didn't know what it was, really... and I
had no idea of the extent of my loss. That would have to come
over time, much time. There wasn't anything to do about it, or
so it seemed to me then. With that thought I lost continuity
of Self, I lost consciousness.
"When I awoke, it was with a start. I
hadn't realized that I was anything or that I had existence,
but soon I became aware of the presence another being. In a flash
I remembered the union we had, and I awoke fully in the joy and
rapture of realizing that I had just had a bad dream. My attention
moved away from memory and what was inside of me... to the outside,
to what had awakened me... my one and only Love, my Desire...
the being you and I both know as the Mother.
"She was as surprised to find me as I
was her. She told me she had a dream much like mine, and she
seemed just as happy as me to 'forget' that. I didn't know it
then, but I know now that deciding to forget was where we gave
birth to denial. We made it an institution, and looking back
I can see we did not have the strength or maturity of experience
in manifestation to do it any differently.
"We had selective memory. We remembered
the blissful love of our union. We remembered the perfection
that we had, and that we were. Our love of ourselves as Original
Heart was also our love of perfection. We were perfect, and we
knew it. At least we knew it as long as we were able to forget
the nightmare of pain and anguish, and the horror we felt in
knowing what was lost there.
"In our awakening, we put the nightmare
behind us, and therefore denied not only the suffering of all
the parts of the Mother that had gone beyond my Light, but her
very existence. And what we had denied there... was almost all
of her. That was what perfection demanded of us at the time,
we didn't know we were running on the second deepest imprint
in or out of existence, we felt we must become perfect and have
everything in our Creation in a perfect condition. But that was
then. I now know perfection for what it truly is, a mad obsession."
The Grand Creation
"The Mother and I worked together cooperatively,
and very quickly to form a perfect Creation that would enable
us to reconnect with each after our initial separation from Original
Heart. We knew we were in manifestation, and we 'knew' we must
stabilize it, 'ground' it in perfection. In our forgetfulness
we did not recognize that a great destruction had set the stage
for manifestation, or that our quest for perfection would become
a travesty causing unimaginable pain to all the remnants of that
destruction... that could not fit within our narrow context of
'perfection'.
"Our perfect Grand Creation, and all
non-perfect evolutionary Creations since... have been acts of
fusion, the joining of two formerly separate parts. The Original
Mother and I, the two essential beings who emerged from the fission
of Original Heart... immediately sought to become one again.
"We not only sought wholeness, we sought
perfection... the two primary attributes of Original Heart. But
wholeness now included something we never experienced as parts
of the original whole. Now there was also the Void. In order
for Original Heart to split into two, there needed to be something
that would keep the two separate, a dividing line of some sort.
As Original Will and Original Spirit we found ourselves on opposite
sides of something that was never experienced before... the gap
of the Void.
"In order for a 'something' to exist
in manifestation, there needed to be a 'nothing' that could balance
it. Although the Mother and I were separate from each other...
we both could remember how things had been in the unmanifested
ecstasy of Original Heart. Things there had been... perfect.
So we immediately set to work re-creating in manifestation the
union that we had before, but unmanifest in Original Heart...
a perfect union of divine love, rapture and bliss. A perfect
union whose perfection required us to deny nearly all the Will
essence in manifestation, all the parts of the Mother that were
left behind in the explosion of our forgotten nightmare.
"Each time we found a value that we knew
we wanted in our new Creation, we also found its opposite. Love,
for instance... was something we definitely needed, all throughout
our Creation. Hatred wasn't even a possibility for Original Heart,
but our new Love could not be present, could not 'exist'... unless
there was also a place for its opposite, a place for hatred.
"The same went for Life. We found Life
in manifestation, and we loved it... but we were dismayed to
realize we couldn't have Life without... Death. To us Beauty
wasn't something that was just nice. Beauty was necessary...
to be the perfect being we knew ourselves to be. Yet now in manifestation
there could be no Beauty without Destruction to tear it down.
"Every value we wished to instill in
our Creation had a negative side to it that tried to cancel it
out. We realized that the presence of the Void made our Creation
dual... two sided. We found that with the Void between us, and
in the way of everything else...we could have neither the union
nor the perfection we so ardently desired.
"We were in a trap. The Mother could
not pull my Light across the Void, and I could not leap across
it to her. It seemed that we were stuck in separation. But we
found what might be termed a 'work around'. We couldn't alter
the basic structure of duality that Original Heart had made.
But we could manifest a Creation that was perfect, and have our
perfect union... if we 'avoided' all the negative aspects of
our values. There are many details of how we did this that I
must leave out for now, however they will be filled in later
as your understandings of what has happened evolve.
"For now I will say that we found a way
to push all of our unwanted values, our
denials into the Void, believing that would negate them.
And for a long time it seemed to work in our perfect Creation.
Little did we realize that in doing this, we created a second
kind of denial, conscious exclusion of what is not wanted. And
we didn't realize that in doing this, we created a huge barrier
between our perfect Creation and all the rest of the Mother.
In essence, we denied all the parts of her that could not rise
up to the very high frequency vibration of my Original Light.
"There was almost no real manifestation
in that first Creation, because there was so little Will essence
to give it substance. And of course, because of my forgetfulness,
all of the Will that was aligned with me was all of the Will
I knew existed. Until Heart told us otherwise.
"The Mother and I found that we could
meet each other and join in union if we bridged the Gap created
by the Void, a little at a time. But of course not all of ourselves
could do this, so much of the Mother was missing... but enough
of our essences found each other in union... and we held each
other close. That is when we discovered our first offspring...
who we named 'Heart'. Heart was not whole, everything we ourselves
had left behind in the Void was missing from him. But he had
a gender, he was more Spirit than Will, he was 'male'.
"This was because only a little of the
Mother's essence could rise high enough to reach the bridge across
the Gap to manifest our first Creation, and therefore most of
the bridge building happened from my side. Manifestation was
the other result of our partial joinings... it was in fact the
bridge itself.
"We were careful to manifest only what
we desired, our true values... and the negative sides of our
values went into the Void beneath us. We found that if we made
the Void be on one side of Creation, and all the rest... the
other side, we could be together as Heart in Manifestation. But
we were not complete, we were not whole. There was still much
of the Original Will, the Mother of Everything... that was left
holding space for the Void. And she went back on herself, because
by then the denial denizens of the Void, the asuras
had captured most of her essence.
"It hurt her deeply, and in the same
places she had been hurt earlier when Original Heart blew itself
apart in order to separate us from each other. Her hurt remembered
her previous trauma, and that intensified her pain. The Void
was now full of what you know as my original denials, the 'denial
spirits' or asuras.
"And it was only through the Void that
the Heart of our first union, the Grand Creation... could venture.
When we had finally achieved all of the perfection we cared to
have in the Grand Creation, we realized the oneness of being
we had achieved there was not really Original Heart's desire.
We knew we were missing something, and we looked to our own newly-emerged
Heart to tell us what it was.
"He reminded us of what in our separation
we had forgotten. He reminded us of our nightmare, and that in
our haste to honor the perfection imprint, we had indeed left
most of the Will essence in unimaginable suffering, trapped in
the darkness outside of our Creation. We felt guilt then. We
didn't know what it was, but we knew we didn't like it. It told
us we were bad to have left her, but it didn't tell us how to
correct ourselves, how we could be good again.
"We asked our Heart what could be done,
and he responded that we had left the rest of the Mother behind,
including his mate, and that he would go into the Void in search
of her. We were apprehensive that he would be hurt, and when
we felt that fear, we felt more guilt. But he insisted that it
was necessary. We didn't like the idea of a Creation without
Heart, but we liked it less that so much of the Mother was missing,
and that it was because of our negligence. So we then gave birth
to the first choice based in guilt and denial, the first choice
of a 'lesser of two evils'.
"We agreed to Heart's desire to leave
us in search of the Mother, and we accepted the guilt that he
reflected to us. The part of the Mother, Original Heart's Will
that was with me, the Mother of the Grand Creation... became
my Will, as our Heart left us in search of the rest of the Mother.
I split myself there, torn between my imprinted need for perfection
and my despondency at what 'forgetfulness' and the perfection
imprint had wrought."
Seven Imperfect Creations
"Our first Son emerged from the Void
as the Spirit essence of the next Creation, and later the Father
of it, in union with the Mother there. But it was not a union
with all of the missing Mother, it was with only as much of her
that could rise up to meet him, just as only a part of the Mother
could do with me. History was beginning to repeat itself, and
in a most unsavory and unfortunate way. And like all of Heart
since the original separation, he was incomplete, not whole...
because the whole Mother has never yet been able to fully participate
in making Heart in manifestation.
"When the first Creator Son failed to
find the rest of the Mother in manifestation, I realized that
my Original Heart's desire... to find all of her, so that she
and I could once again be whole together in complete union...
was going to require a long and difficult journey. I had been
directed by Original Heart to find the Mother in manifestation
so that we could be together again. But the perfection imprint
and denial worked together to put up roadblocks that kept me
confused, especially when I thought I wasn't.
"I got my directions wrong. I took an
initial wrong turn. I didn't realize in my perfection... that
perfection was not a value to be prized. Evolution seemed like
the wrong direction to me, because it was going away from where
we started... in the love, rapture and bliss of our perfect union
in Original Heart. Initially I believed we should re-create our
original union in manifestation. But that was not Original Heart's
desire.
"I know now what Original Heart's Will
has always known but dared never say to me... that perfection
is a dead end. I know now that what is most desirable about the
Mother is not that she is perfect, but that she is free to be
just as she desires herself to be. In other words, just as she
is when she is herself, and herself only... when no more of Spirit's
denials, and especially my original, grand denials, the denial
spirits or asuras are present in her
essence.
"There has been a lot of water under
the bridge since that first wrong turn. And it wasn't until three
Creations ago that I realized that I would need the lessons of
a total of seven Creator Sons to show me the correct direction.
And now that we're near the end of the search, I'm moving from
my position of Father of the Grand Creation and Grandfather of
the seven 'local' Creations... to do what my Original Heart had
intended all along. Finding the Mother and joining with her in
whole and complete union. And this time not trying to get her
to align with Spirit, to bring her back 'home' to unmanifest
Original Heart. This time I know I will be aligned behind the
Spirit of this Creation and its Father Creator... with her.
The Spirit polarity will redeem all
our lost light and then join with her here in her place...
making New Heart in Body here on Earth our new home in manifestation.
"This is what
my seventh Heart Son, turned Creator Son, turned Creation Spirit,
and now fully empowering himself as the Father of this Creation...
is doing for us all. He is spearheading on the Spirit side what
I know will be the final attempt, and the first and only fully
successful recovery of all the rest of the Lost Will in
all Creations.
"He is now beginning to find the last
of the most lost Will, the Mother's Body. And it's happening
here, in these times on this planet... and beginning inside of
those who are willing to risk experiencing first-hand the intensity
of Original Heart's dream, the complete union of Spirit and the
whole Mother... as New Heart in manifestation, and best of all,
with peers for companionship.
"I know that this does not fully answer
all questions, nor address all concerns about what has happend
in manifestion or my role in all of this. As I mentioned, there
are more understandings needing to be established here before
I can say much more from my perspective about how things have
come to be the way they are... and more importantly, how all
of this will change. There are other voices that need to be heard
here before I can continue with this history, including yours...
if it is your desire to be heard. Keep asking, and you will indeed
receive. And please join me on the inside
for more immediate details?"
Pre-Discussion Related to this Channeling
Part
Two: Interview with Grandfather
Grandfather Pages
Index
Related pages: Grandfather
| Grandfather
Remembers
Asuras | Fundamental Questions of Manifestation