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"As I have pointed out, the Mother's Will essence is different than the Spirit essence of Original Spirit who I call Grandfather, the Father, and me. There are many, many separate and individual beings in Creation, each identified by their Spirit essence. And while there are a multitude of spirits and individual beings, there is only one Mother.

"The Original Mother or 'Grandmother' and 'The Mother' are the same being, but at different levels of existence. All Will essence is magnetic, and is naturally drawn back to itself. Spirit has caused splits or gaps in the Mother, but being fragmented is not her natural condition. Oneness and wholeness are the Mother's chief attributes, and now of course her core desire is to regain her wholeness.

"Although she has many parts that are still split off from her core parental essence, she has been more and more quickly moving back into wholeness. These splits have all been caused by Spirit going into her without her Desire drawing him, against her Will. This is because Spirit that I had denied, mainly Lucifer, had been trying to make the Will align with him and his plans for a separate Creation, opposite mine.

"Grandfather has been showing me how to take responsibility for my denials, and how to withdraw my denied bad light from the Mother. He knows much more about her, and Spirit's role in her suffering than I could ever have guessed on my own. This is because he has been in my place himself, and because he's had the advantage of what has been learned in trying to correct his original imbalances through evolution here and in the other 'local' Creations prior to this one.

"As I've said, the first or Central Universe created by Grandfather and the Original Mother provided the starting point for former evolutionary will beings like myself to become creators of their own universes. There are seven 'local' universes all together. This Creation is the most recent and is at the densest level of manifestation. And it is here that Grandfather has found the rest of the Original Mother.

"The most important level of Grandfather's intention in fostering the evolution of will beings was to find and reunite with the lost parts of the Mother that had been fragmented and traumatized in the initial explosion of Creation. And now he has found them, here on Earth and within Earth's own evolutionary will creatures, in other words within you.

"When I first woke up to what a mess I'd made here, I didn't realize that my narcissism, arrogance and ineptitude in relating with the Mother had been factored into Grandfather's plan. He had expected as much of an evolving Creation, based on his own experience with the Mother, and the experiences of the prior Creations. It was during your last planetary war, in a camp where the prisoners all were to be killed, and many were being tortured as well, that I heard Grandfather's voice very clearly say to me, 'No, my son, this is not right. There is another way.'

"I had my attention focused in a medical area of the camp, observing for the billionth time a phenomenon I had come to know as the 'working out of karma'. Physicians were conducting medical experiments that were actually tortures. I had been in places like this so many times before, and now I was watching yet another perpetrator and victim play out the original imprints of Creation. And like all the other times, I was waiting for the realization to strike one of them that they each were both a perpetrator and a victim.

"A soon-to-be new mother was in labor, and the experiment was to find out what would happen if the child could not be born. As the experimenters tied the Mother's legs together and strapped her to the table, they asked themselves, 'Will only the child die? Or will the mother die too? If so, who will die first? And what will be the actual medical causes of their deaths?'

"As I felt into the will of one of the experimenters, I found a deep urge to destroy, to kill, and I recognized Lucifer and his asuras. As I felt into the other experimenter, there was almost no will. He was being very much like I had often been - a scientific, dispassionate observer.

As I felt into the mother's will, I found under the intense horror and heartbreak an even deeper resignation, full of despair and hopelessness. It was then I raised my head up and asked a frustrated rhetorical question of the cosmos, 'This can't be right! Why is it still happening?' My question was answered by Grandfather in the way I just described.

"Grandfather's softly spoken words in that moment opened me in a place that I hadn't realized was dead. In that instant I knew the fundamental error I had made very early on. And also in that opening Grandfather showed me the seriousness of how closed I had become to the Mother, and how the suffering she has endured was not her own fault, but was caused by my denials. Eons of brokenheartedness on both sides... and mostly held in denial, suddenly came to me in full force. I was transformed as I began to feel for the first time the full extent of the Mother's plight.

"It was a very sudden and very radical shift of focus and intention. You know, evolution doesn't happen gradually. It happens in leaps. In one moment everything is pretty much as it's been. And in the next instant, it's suddenly different. In the evolution of life forms on Earth, for instance, it was in one specific moment on one specific day that one specific creature moved out of the water and onto dry land. Millions of years and billions of small changes and adaptations led up to this, but the actual step didn't happen until it did. And even though outward appearances might not have seemed very different for anyone other than that creature, reality here was forever changed from that moment on.

"Among my realizations in that moment with Grandfather behind me and the dying mother and child in front of me - was that in truth Ahriman, the dispassionate observer had consumed nearly all of me. Ahriman had me possessed, and had nearly become me. In fact, it had been part of my plan that the 'healing' of the victim-perpetrator gap would happen through my merely observing it, so I wasn't ready for the shock of realizing that in my denial of the Mother I'd become the cosmic physician/torturer, the worst perpetrator in Creation. I had imagined myself quite differently.

"My plan to heal the suffering here, was to foster a deep and pervasive peace on Earth. And then within that peace, the evolution of a rich and fabulous technological paradise. I had come to this plan because each time I'd tried to get the Mother to go along with me in my other plans, the most difficult parts of her either refused, or backed out after we got started.

I decided that I would have to work around her most troublesome parts and leave them behind, if necessary. With my back to the Mother, I focused on helping humans and other beings manifest a paradise on Earth. But I was being Ahrimanic, I thought I could do this without the Mother's involvement, using only Spirit's resources of manifestation.

"I had good reason to adopt this plan, it was very similar to the plans used by the Creator Sons the other six creations before this one. I believed I was following solid precedence, and doing the homework necessary on my part. I was very frustrated, however, that humans just weren't getting it about the need for peace - and to that end, the healing of the victim/perpetrator gap. Victims remained victims and perpetrators kept on perpetrating. Or so my frustration was saying when Grandfather intervened with me on behalf of the Mother.

"I know now that my penchant for keeping my distance and 'studying' suffering by observing it was really Ahriman in me trying to draw Spirit away from the Mother. And of course it was me avoiding my responsibility as the one who must make the first move in the healing.

"Grandfather showed me that I had it wrong about karma. He showed me the deepest level of this reality, and I realized then that the victim could never heal her victimhood without first experiencing an end to the perpetration. And stopping the perpetration was up to me.

"The way I'd left things at the Godhead, Spirit would always 'rule', and that meant Ahriman and Lucifer would always get their way during times when my attention was focused as the distant observer. If I didn't take the initiative to make some radical changes, Ahriman would continue to draw me away from the Mother, leaving her with Lucifer who would continue taking her over, torturing her, and trying to make her help him manifest the satisfaction of his lust for death and destruction. So it was Grandfather's 'nudge' that got me started here in my new approach to the healing business.

"As I have said, my primary focus in the healing now is to bring back my own lost Spirit essence which I'd projected out as Lucifer and ignored as Ahriman. Since Grandfather's help I've come to understand that my healing work is just another level of the work Grandfather has been doing with his own essence, and what is required of all Spirit essence. Spirit must heal its own fragmentation, and the fragmentation is in two dimensions.

"In the vertical dimension the levels of Spirit range from Grandfather through me to the Father of this Creation, and then to your own Spirit essence. It is a bit of a misnomer to call these distinctions 'fragments' because they are more accurately 'levels' of Spirit, and they are not separate, but rather form a continuum. The spirit of each manifestation contains within it the Spirit of its Creator, and the Creator Spirit contains within it the Original Spirit that I call 'Grandfather'.

"Although Ahriman and Lucifer are true fragments of Spirit, they also are the poles of a continuum. The horizontal dimension of Spirit goes from Lucifer on my extreme left to Ahriman on my extreme right. I, of course, am here in the center at the balance point between them.

"A metaphor that may help describe this is that of acids and alkalines, the quality of 'pH' in chemistry. A substance that is either too acidic or too alkaline can be harmful for that reason alone. However, if these qualities of the substance are in balance the substance is said to be neutral, and therefore not harmful because of its pH.

"Both the left and right polarities of Spirit are harmful to the Mother. Ahriman and Lucifer have been at battle with each other since the beginning, and Spirit has been pulled off center as they've alternated positions of dominance in their winning and losing. This extremism on the part of Spirit is now ending - as I follow Grandfather's lead in reclaiming lost spirit, and then as you follow mine.

"It is too easy to see the splits and gaps in the Mother and assume they are her fault, or at least her problems alone to solve. But she is not alone. Spirit has infiltrated her in ways that she has never had acceptance for. As Lucifer, denied spirit has forcefully opened the Will, and has overridden her and undermined her. As Ahriman, denied spirit holds light away from her healing. And it is denied spirit that continues to perpetrate the gaps in her.

"There is a third kind of denied light that we've already discussed. The asuras are the demon-like denial spirits who hate everything and everyone, and desire only death and destruction. They are Grandfather's original denials that were already in the Void when the Mother and I first became aware of each other.

"When you are doing the spirit redemption part of the healing work, undenying the Ahriman and Lucifer in you, it's good to remember that working with asuras is very different. The spirit essence of the asuras does not belong here, so it cannot be 'redeemed'. The best approach to working with asuras is to follow my advice on the True Sacrifice page.

"Whenever you are feeling hatred, feeling like you want to kill or destroy, or you are getting images of this - the chances are good that an asura is involved. The process is to imagine offering the asura to me and saying something like, 'Here God, take this denial spirit, this asura to its right place.' I will then do my part to ensure that Grandfather's denied light gets to its right place, which is not in you - or me, for that matter. The Will essence that had been held captive by the asura will then be free to rejoin the rest of the Mother.

"One of my earliest mistakes was to assume that the 'denial spirits' and 'psychopathic killers' were my own Light gone bad. This is how I first opened to guilt, I was upset that I could be so mean and cruel from the beginning. I'd thought that there was something fundamentally wrong with my Light, and now I realize that part of my purpose here has been to help Grandfather heal these denials that he had unknowingly made in the Original Creation. And releasing the judgments around all of this is good for you to do as well. And when the guilt is finally released, the blame will be gone too."

"Grandfather's first encounter with the Mother ended in disaster on one hand. On the other hand it spawned a perfect Creation of deep beauty and great splendor that sustains itself, and from which have evolved many non-perfect Creations.

"The disaster was the damage of Will essence in the initial explosion of creation. Most of the magnetic essence that had coalesced around the Light that became Grandfather and the Original Creation moved very, very quickly away from the center of Light. As the Will left the main body of Light, almost every part of her that had become impregnated in the explosion became manifest. Her higher frequency colors manifested as very subtle energy and thought forms, her lower frequency colors manifested as energy and matter in varying degrees of density.

"On the other hand, a 'perfect' Creation was the only outcome possible for Grandfather because all of the Will essence that was left in his Light was aligned with him. A Creation with perfectly aligned Spirit and Will is a perfect Creation. And once it reaches completion, there is no way for it to continue evolving.

"So Grandfather lost contact with all the parts of the Mother that had not been in alignment with him. As he moved closer to perfection, he moved further away from most of the Mother, and in the process became perfectly lonely. He deeply missed her other parts, the wilder and less predictable ones that had attracted him in the first place.

"The parental part of the Original Mother and Grandfather settled down to a long wait for the return of the rest of the Mother through the miracle of evolution. He has learned much in the evolving of seven new Creations, all with free will. And he's always known that the Mother cannot come to him. He's always known he must go to her.

"The good news for us is that this is where she is. The parental parts of her major fragments are right here, in this Universe and on this planet. It's good news for me because now I know what I need to do, and I can stop looking elsewhere for solutions to the suffering in Creation.

"The good news for you is that Grandfather's Plan calls for his reuniting with the rest of the Mother by bringing his very spiritual, low density, perfect Original Creation into deeply physical, evolving manifestation. The outcome of Grandfather's reuniting with the rest of the Mother is literally the manifestation of Heaven on Earth.

"This is the venue for the realization of Grandfather's plan of an earthly paradise based in true manifestation, with eternal life and ever increasing, evolving goodness. And it's a whole lot better than the plan I had developed for a peaceful, technological paradise with longer life spans. That 'paradise' would have had to someday end in death. My plan was essentially a 'work around' for the problems I'd thought I could do nothing about because they were the Mother's. But where my old plan left off is where Grandfather's takes over.

"Probably the best way to understand Grandfather and his motives is to realize that absolutely everything in this Creation, including all of my bumbling, has been foreseen by him. In fact, everything that has happened here has been part of his plan to reunite with the Original Mother. And when it happens for Grandfather, it happens for all Spirit, beginning with yours. When Grandfather comes to Earth to be with the Mother, he'll find her inside of you. For indeed as I am waking up inside of you, he is waking up inside of me.

"As above, so below. And so it is with every level of reality. As I unite with the Mother of Creation in you, Grandfather unites with the Original Mother. In this way you become whole, and therefore parental to all of Creation. In your New Wholeness, with all of your Spirit aligned with all of your Will, you may choose to manifest whatever New Creation you desire.

"One of the most important benefits of driving backward is that you can trace the causes of things that have happened from their origins in the present - back down through all that's been. With the clear vision of retrospection and without judgment, you can find your own bumblings - and make corrections now, when it matters. Not by looking forward, but only by looking back can you determine where you are and how you've come to be here.

"In finding your way to any specific future destination it's not good enough to know simply where you are going. You must also know where you are now, because here is where the rest of your journey begins. Driving backward into the future keeps your spirit together with the rest of you, here in the eternal present. And if you'd like to more quickly find wholeness, I recommend the practices suggested in the Four Steps and related pages."

Next: Part Eight: The God of Love and the god of Power

Lesson Three Discussion

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