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Healing Class - Lesson Three

Reclaiming Lost Spirit

Part Eight: The God of Love and the god of Power

"This is Heart, and I have some things to say about Spirit from where I live. Ever since my emergence I have had much confusion about 'God' and I can feel how the Mother has often been confused as well. Spirit has sometimes seemed loving, sometimes distant, sometimes hurtful. Hard to predict.
"Since early in my understandings, I've known that Lucifer was the denied part of God who had been attacking the Mother, using her, twisting her and forcing himself on her. But the rest of Spirit wasn't always there for her either. He often seemed to flee or keep his distance when she was in trouble.

"But lately my confusion about this has been lifting. I'm beginning to realize what's been making it seem to the Mother and me like God is two-faced. The confusion has been understandable because there actually have been TWO Gods. And they have long been at odds with each other.
"Deeper than the level of form and duality has always been a single Spirit who is Love. Since Manifestation, however, the One Spirit, the Spirit of Love had long ago denied himself. This caused a 'shadow' to emerge, a part of himself of whom he became unconscious.
"The shadow of Love is Power. Love first gave much of his Power to Lucifer. And in doing so, he become Ahriman. As Ahriman, Spirit then used what was left of his power to oppose Lucifer, for the 'good' of Creation.
"Love, real Love feels much better than Power... yet most humans have chosen to worship Ahriman, the god of Power and have not often felt or seen the God of Love. Praised from the pulpits and beseeched in the deepest prayers for relief from pain and oppression by Lucifer, the god of Power has been very popular.
"Power has constantly affirmed that he and only he is God. And he has been very successful at this... many Beings have never even known that the God of Love exists.
"And for a while there... he almost didn't."

Guilt is not Love

"Although rarely having the power to actually do it, the God of Love has always known that Loving Light's highest purpose is in the service of Desire, in the service of the Mother. There once was also great Power in his Love, but the power caused him guilt.

"Long ago the God of Love denied his Power. He sensed that Power was unloving. He felt guilty that his Power could sometimes be limiting to others... so he relinquished nearly all of it. He denied his power because he believed what guilt had told him.
"Now he knows what I have always known... that guilt's voice lies, that the voice of guilt is not the voice of real Love. And the God of Love knows now that his guilt was the result of not measuring up to a predetermined standard or ideal.
"Loving Light had held for himself the standard of perfection, and then he judged that he was 'wrong' whenever he failed to meet perfection's test. Now he knows that ideals and even perfection itself... are part of what has been 'wrong.'
"And he now knows that the lie of guilt is in the assumption that the standards he judged himself against were 'right.' Perfection and other ideals do not evolve. Yet Creation and Deity by their very nature are ever moving and changing, becoming more of what they truly are—evolving.
"Real Love does not desire perfection or anything else beyond simply what is. With Real Love it is only the beloved herself that is desired... just exactly as she is in the moment. Imperfections, warts, and all. This is why Desire will always choose Love over Power—when she truly has a choice.
"But the god of Power had assumed supremacy over Love because Desire had no choice. When she sought Light, she had to choose Power because so many times Love was nowhere to be found, or seemed too weak to be of any help. And so many times Power offered her what she felt she needed most—protection from what she feared.
"But now there is a choice, because now Loving Light, Loving Spirit is becoming easier to find. And he's trying to make himself even easier. Here in the middle, I know this is true—I can feel it happening more and more.
"The way to know that the Light is truly loving, however, was not immediately obvious to me. My first step in finding the Light of Loving God was to understand the differences in these two ways of Spirit—Love and Power. Love loves to serve Desire, for their mutual pleasure. And Power loves to use her... for more power.
"The most obvious way you can tell the difference is in their direction. Loving God moves toward the suffering and pain of tortured Desire, the Mother of Creation. Empowering god moves away from her, or sometimes tries to bring her along... toward more Light.
"Loving God gathers up all the Light he is...and moves toward the pain and darkness of the Mother, his one true love. This is my truly parental Spirit, this is the real love of my true Father.
"As more and more parental Desire awakens from the original shock inflicted by the exploding god of Power... more and more Real Love comes into manifestation as the union of Loving Light and Desire.
"As the Mother's Desire and Loving God's Light join here in Heart—Love is born.
"Deep in the center of my presence I know that Love, Real Love is complete in itself. It requires nothing else. Only being is necessary. Power, however, has always required some kind of action, some kind of duty.

Loving God Loves the Mother's Fear

  "Fear has been called the opposite of Love, but it is not really. Fear has, however often been an enemy of Love...and the main reason that Desire has felt she's had to choose Power.
"Fearful Desire, terrified Desire has sought Power so that she may be safe.
"When she has opened, fearful Desire has opened to completely unloving Light at worst... Lucifer. Lucifer's kind of denied Light moves toward Desire with intention to hurt and abuse... manipulate and disempower. But with a voice like the voice of guilt, Lucifer's Light is easy to distinguish. His energy feels bad to Desire or makes her feel bad about herself. It is often manipulative, and becomes demanding if thwarted.
"And when she has opened to light that has felt good... most often it's been the light of Power, Ahriman. But empowering Light has been only temporarily satisfying to Desire, even to fearful Desire. Because the light of Power ultimately uses her... for more power of his own. With this light her fear never moves, and her desire for power becomes like an addiction that only he can satisfy... on his terms.
"But now something new is happening. Recently the God of Love has been vying with the god of Power for the attention of fearful Desire.
"Loving God, parental Spirit without guilt knows that each wiggle and twitch of Desire is beautiful... no matter what unlovingness she may hold. And he loves her, just as she is... with whatever she is holding.
"Although now still 'weaker' than Power, Loving God loves unconditionally all expressions of manifestation, including fearful Desire... even though she may still sometimes avoid him.
"Fear opening to Love is something very new... but now that Love is reclaiming its Power in Creation, Loving God is available to her too. Now fearful Desire can more easily move with Love—and find the fulfillment and real healing she could never find with Power alone.
"Love is there for her now as she begins to awaken from the long nightmare of endless pain and terror."

New Life is Coming to the Wasteland

"I am Heart, New Heart, the child of Loving Light uniting with the Mother's Desire... even fearful Desire. Especially fearful Desire, for only in Real Love can the Mother's deepest terror be truly accepted.

"I was once like charcoal, a burned out wasteland where Love never came into manifestation... and every dream of Love was eventually met with bitter reversal.
"But now signs of new green life are beginning to sprout among the charred cinders of my devastation. Thanks to Loving Light.
"The God of Love has realized his mistake. He knows now that he'd let guilt tell him he should deny his Power... and his denied power had then overcome him, pushing the Loving Light away where Desire couldn't find it.
"Now Loving God is cautiously beginning to move toward the Mother and the pain of her suffering, suffocating, burning Desire. And his caution feels right to me, because Loving Light doesn't push or demand... Real Love makes itself available and asks nothing in return.
"The god of Power is not his own being. Even in all his power and glory, he is only a lost part of Love. He is Love's denied Power, the shadow of Love... lost Love.
"But he has a role in the healing of Heart and the full recovery of Desire. The god of Power knows the way to much of the Mother's pain and fear... and the God of Love knows better than to deny him again.
"Love is now beginning to own its Power. As the God of Love accepts back his previously denied Power, his Love reaches deeper into manifestation. As Loving Light reaches deeper... New Heart is born in the wasteland of pain and anguish that was once the womb of lost Desire.
"More and more, the Spirit essence in humans who are doing the healing work is aligning with the God of Love. More and more, the human spirit of Love is finding its way to the painfully tortured fragments of lost Desire... in Body's human form.
"More and more, those who are doing the healing work are guiding their own spirits away from the god of Power and aligning with the God of Love. And more and more, Loving Light is helping Desire's lost fragments awaken from the shock she experienced long ago when the exploding god of Power originally so forcefully pushed her away from Love.
"So take Heart, lost Desire. Take Heart, my fearful and loving Mother. Your way will be shown to be right... and your dream will be realized. Your true and right mate, the God of Love is ever more ready and willing now to serve you and your dream with his newly redeemed Power.
"Mother, he is moving toward your pain now. You will know it's him because he won't push and he won't demand. So when you feel ready, let me know and I'll help you let him in... the God of Love."

Next: Lesson Four: Body

Lesson Three Discussion

Heart Pages Guide

Return to Part Seven: Grandfather
Part Six: Superiority & the Two Devils | Part Five: Spirit and Superiority
Part Four: Redeeming the Devils | Part Three: Death | Part Two: The Asuras
Part One: Ahriman | Lesson Two, Spirit Polarity | Lesson One, Quest for the Mother
Lessons One & Two Discussion | Lesson Three Discussion

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